All right, all right--you win! Due to overwhelming popular demand (ok, none), I find I must post a link to my Ikea story.
A couple of notes. First, it's longish (ok, needs editing badly), but I encourage you to stay with it to the end. Second, I have cleaned up my language a lot since writing it. And third, I did not use capital letters on my old blog. I know not why. In retrospect, the decision should have gone the other way. So sorry.